“Do I want to be feared or loved? Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
— Michael Scott
It’s a funny line, of course, but it holds a simple truth about leadership. Not the kind that looks good on Instagram stories, but the kind that comes up long after events end and applause fades.
Being part of student leadership through all three years of my college life changed the way I thought I would experience college. While most students remember college through fests, friendships, and memories made between classes, leadership adds another layer, one that is heavier, messier, and deeply meaningful. At Mary’s, it means living college life from the inside out, where corridors feel familiar not just as pathways, but as places of responsibility.
Leadership, I’ve learned, is not about being the loudest voice in the room or the most popular name on campus. It is about being present. About listening more than speaking. About leading with people, not ahead of them. Walking alongside your team, sharing credit freely, sharing pressure silently. And while teamwork makes leadership beautiful, the truth is that responsibility often rests quietly on your shoulders alone.
There are days when it is stressful. Draining. Emotionally challenging. Days when you wonder if anyone sees the effort, or if doing the right thing will ever please everyone (spoiler: it won’t). Leadership teaches you early that not everyone will be happy for you, even when your intentions are pure. It teaches you that trust is precious, and that carrying it is both an honour and a weight.
Yet, despite the pressure, what stays with me most is gratitude. Gratitude for the environment that allowed me to grow, not just as a student, but as a person. Mary’s is a space that encourages responsibility with kindness and leadership with heart. Gratitude for a college faculty that supports, guides, and trusts its students in the truest sense. Their faith makes leadership feel less like authority and more like responsibility shared with compassion.
Most importantly, leadership has shown me that real satisfaction does not come from recognition, it comes from being useful. From being able to help. From being the person people trust when they need things to work, problems to be solved, or voices to be heard. That moment when you realise you’ve made someone’s life a little easier. That is where leadership lives.
To those who will step into student leadership after us, lead with empathy. Don’t chase popularity; chase purpose. Protect your team, but also learn to protect yourself. You will feel pressure, and that’s okay, it means you care. Let gratitude ground you, let responsibility shape you, and let service define you.
Maybe leadership isn’t about being feared or loved after all. Maybe it’s about being trusted enough that people aren’t afraid to lean on you. And loved enough that you’re willing to carry that weight.
That, I believe, is the other side of student life at Mary’s, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.